woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
