i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How's work?
Spinning.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm too high and old for this...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
