I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
