That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize