whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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