I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
