Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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