My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
