My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
