Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my poor anus
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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