I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
