So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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