Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
True strength comes from lack of pants
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
