first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
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