...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize