I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
