nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
