Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
