I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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