Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
