Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
