He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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