I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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