this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
