I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
