im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
