At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
