You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
