We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
