Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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