I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
