At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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