they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
