I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
