I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize