hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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