hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
