I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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