in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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