fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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