yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize