Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
