New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
