I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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