I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
drinking out of a sandbucket again
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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