Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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