puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
