i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize