Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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