After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize