If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
