so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
