yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
