I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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