My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
