Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
