I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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