At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
