Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
