I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize