im drinking this country out of the recession.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
vagina is talking i cant
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
