ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
