Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize