he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
