I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
birth control should be required to get into college
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
