He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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