You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
