you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize