I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
