i just made my gag reflex go away.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
