I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
