But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Randomize
