This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
