Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
