he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
