can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
