I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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